I “withdrew” from this university semester, and don’t plan on going back. Although it is unfortunate to quit before I can figure out whether (the vast majority of) philosophers are actually as staggeringly incompetent as they appear to be, or are simply playing an elaborate practical joke, I simply couldn’t stand it either way.
It’s technically possible that I’ll post more to here, but it’s unlikely. In any case, thanks to everyone who was supportive. No thanks to this discipline for turning what should be a worthwhile pursuit into a massive waste of time.